Google finally unveiled the much-anticipated Moto X on Thursday, and although it may not have groundbreaking specifications, it does have some nifty features, and there are lots of customizations you can make — such as choosing your own colors and engraving — when you order one.

But unfortunately for those in the U.K., the Moto X will not be crossing the Atlantic.

Google has just released the latest distribution figures of the Android operating system over a 14-day period ending on August 1. The numbers show a consistent growth in the amount of Android users running Jelly Bean while older versions of the operating system, including Eclair, continue on the journey towards extinction.

A recent series of leaked images reveal that Sony’s upcoming flagship smartphone, the “Honami,” is expected to feature a G-Lens. The numerical value of the resolution and focal length are usually printed on the back of Sony device’s, but on this occasion they have temporarily been replaced with “X.”

The most head scratching feature of the new Moto X is that it’s running Android 4.2.2 instead of the new 4.3 that was released last week, even though Motorola is owned by Google and theoretically should have early access to new Android software before it comes out.

If you’re bummed about not getting the latest and greatest version of Jelly Bean right out the gate with the Moto X, Google has some splendid news: it’s making a Google Play edition of the Moto X that will be available “soon.”

Not only does Motorola’s new Moto X come with neat customization options, attractive specs and 24 hours of battery life, but you also get a shit ton of penis jokes and sexual innuendos to go with it.

Motorola just launched a Moto X section on its website. There are plenty of details on the flagship phone’s flashy new features, but apparently the marketing team decided the best way to sell the new smartphone is to sprinkle in a bunch of dumb gags like the one posted above.